Going to the Chapel and Trying to Get Married

This is our ceremony for our upcoming nuptials on Saturday. I went to Staples last night and bought nice ivory "Program" paper. As the ceremony will be relatively short there really isn't a need for a program, per say, so I printed out the entire ceremony so my family can follow along and have a keepsake from our wedding. I have 25 printed out and ready to go. See, I can do some things ahead of time!

Deciding that today was the day to get our marriage license we headed down to City Hall on our lunch break. As all of you know, City Hall does not employ friendly, kind, happy people. Our visit was no exception. We inform the snarling woman that we need to get a marriage license and upon finding out we are both divorced, asks us for a certified divorce decree. A what? Well, we have the paperwork we received from the court stating in plain English that we are both divorced. Apparently, that means nothing. In order to get the license we need to get a certified divorce decree at the courthouse: my most favorite place on earth.

In the car and to the courthouse. By this point in life I should have a "speed pass" to go to the front of the line as they have had plenty of my business. Not the case. We wait at the Plexiglas window for at least 10 minutes waiting for a sign of life. There is no bell to ding so we keep knocking on the counter. A woman peeks her head around the corner of her cube and informs us that someone will be right with us. Well, why the hell can't YOU help me? So we wait and huff and sigh and finally we get some help. I think her name must be Mrs. Slowski. We give her our docket numbers and she comes back five minutes later with our files. She puts them on the desk in front of her and Bob* and I look at each other and start laughing. One folder is perhaps 1/4 inch thick and the other folder is at least 4 inches thick. Hmmm......I wonder which one could be mine. The woman looks at us and asks "So whose is whose?" Yup..........I'm a good customer. Naturally, there is a fee to get these very important documents and they are never sent out with divorce papers. Bastards. So a divorced person is never really aware of this existing document until they are in these situations. Gotta love the system.

Back to City Hall. Do we HAVE to? I don't like Cruella. We fill out more paperwork and I offer up my first born and lo and behold, we have a marriage license.

Now, we pick up our wedding bands. Hopefully without incident.